So..yesterday...

So, yesterday I went for a walk with my aunt, considering I start the training next week, right? SWEET mother we walked 20 minutes, I wanted to die...yeah you read that 20 minutes. *sigh* But, I found out my uncle is getting tested for prostate cancer...from my aunt who is in a 5-year remission for breast cancer. *again sigh* I wanted to die...no joke. They have come into my life and they don't judge me like my parents -- this is my mom's sister. I am still kind of taken back.

So, today, I am in pain...yeah....making lemon bars.....2 sticks of butter, 2 cups of sugar 4 eggs...shall I go on? GEEZ!?

I want to crawl into a closet......seriously..no joke I want to cry. I am NOT sure I can do this......I HATE FAILURE. I hate it....but ......

yeah.. exactly..

I seriously am not looking forward to this anymore. WHy!? I was soo excited about it.. cause I talked to my personal trainer she said sure, you can do it BUT alot of cardio work will be needed, yeah I seen that per Josh's training schedule.

I am prayer and I talk to God, yeah I am religious and I am figuring out why he wants me to do a tri...it takes ALOT of dedication...to myself. I fear I don't have it....I lost it about 14 years ago....well some of my high school friends would say otherwise....

I will keep you posted. I am still looking for sponsers....as I need a decent bike...and for the actual race..its $65 and its for many GREAT organizations. Here is the web-site: http://www.millenniumtriathlon.com/

So, if you know anyone who has a bike they want to get rid of etc. let me know please. (it won't be for like 2-3 months -- unless i get a good sponsor or few.)

much hugs....*sigh*