So, yesterday I went for a walk with my aunt, considering I start the training next week, right? SWEET mother we walked 20 minutes, I wanted to die...yeah you read that 20 minutes. *sigh* But, I found out my uncle is getting tested for prostate cancer...from my aunt who is in a 5-year remission for breast cancer. *again sigh* I wanted to die...no joke. They have come into my life and they don't judge me like my parents -- this is my mom's sister. I am still kind of taken back.
So, today, I am in pain...yeah....making lemon bars.....2 sticks of butter, 2 cups of sugar 4 eggs...shall I go on? GEEZ!?
I want to crawl into a closet......seriously..no joke I want to cry. I am NOT sure I can do this......I HATE FAILURE. I hate it....but ......
yeah.. exactly..
I seriously am not looking forward to this anymore. WHy!? I was soo excited about it.. cause I talked to my personal trainer she said sure, you can do it BUT alot of cardio work will be needed, yeah I seen that per Josh's training schedule.
I am prayer and I talk to God, yeah I am religious and I am figuring out why he wants me to do a tri...it takes ALOT of dedication...to myself. I fear I don't have it....I lost it about 14 years ago....well some of my high school friends would say otherwise....
I will keep you posted. I am still looking for sponsers....as I need a decent bike...and for the actual race..its $65 and its for many GREAT organizations. Here is the web-site: http://www.millenniumtriathlon.com/
So, if you know anyone who has a bike they want to get rid of etc. let me know please. (it won't be for like 2-3 months -- unless i get a good sponsor or few.)
much hugs....*sigh*
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You are on this path for a reason. Get in touch with why you would like to do the triathlon. Sometimes getting out pen and paper help to put it on paper so you can look at it in your own writing. Then keep your focus on what you come up with. You can post positive affirmations around your house for a constant reminder. Then take it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. Be easy and gentle on yourself. You can do it!!! Remember all your on-line friends are here to support you!!
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts and prayers are with your Uncle!! Whatever support you need you can reach out to me!
Your facebook buddy,
Rob